How to Never Run Out of Things to Say
Engaging in meaningful conversations is an essential skill that contributes to building relationships, fostering connections, and navigating social interactions with ease. However, for many individuals, the fear of running out of things to say can be a significant barrier to effective communication. In this blog post, we'll explore practical strategies to help you navigate conversations effortlessly and never run out of things to say.
Be Curious and Observant:
One of the most effective ways to keep conversations flowing is by cultivating curiosity and being observant of your surroundings. Pay attention to details, ask questions, and show genuine interest in the experiences, thoughts, and feelings of the person you're conversing with. This not only demonstrates your engagement but also opens up avenues for further discussion on a variety of topics.
Ask people slightly personal questions to make boring topics interesting.
For example:
If you’re talking about work:
“What do you like most about your job?”
“Why did you choose [their field of work]?”
“If you could do any kind of work, what would you do?”
If you’re talking about the cost of renting in their city:
“Where would you love to live if you could pick anywhere on earth?”
“Have you lived in many other places?”
“Did you grow up around here?”
“Would you ever move out of the city to save on rent, or do you think the cost is worth it?”
This way, you move from small talk to personal mode. In the personal mode, we learn about:
Plans
Likes
Passions
Dreams
Hopes
Fears
When you transition the conversation like this, you’re engaging the other person more, and it’s easier to keep the conversation flowing.
At this point, you get to know each other rather than just making small talk.
Watch their feet to gauge their interest
Sometimes a conversation dies out because the other person tries to end it, and sometimes they want to talk but just don’t know what to say. How do you know the difference?
Their body language will tell you if they are inclined to spend time talking or if they have other plans. Look at what way their feet are pointing. Is it toward you or away from you? If it’s toward you, they are inviting further conversation. If it’s away from you, they might want to get away from the conversation. If they also spend a lot of time looking in the direction of their feet, it’s an even stronger signal that they want to leave.
If they point away from you, you can wrap up the conversation with one or two sentences.
For example:
“It’s later than I thought, so I’d better get going! It was great to see you, hopefully we can catch up soon.”
“I’ve really enjoyed chatting to you, but I’ve got a busy afternoon ahead of me. See you later.”
“It was really nice talking to you. I think it’s time for me to get back to work.”
If they point their feet at you and look at you, you can feel confident that they’ll want to keep talking.
Use things around you to inspire new topics
Take inspiration from your environment and make a comment or ask a question about it to not run out of things to say.
For example:
“I love these plants. Are you good at growing stuff?”
“I like this new office. Is your commute longer or shorter now?”
“That’s an interesting painting, isn’t it? I like abstract art. Do you?”
“It’s so warm today! Do you like the hot weather?”
“I love the music in this place. I can’t remember this band’s name, though. Do you know it?”
Some avoid simple statements like these because they think that they are too mundane. Don’t! They work great as inspiration for new, interesting topics.
Refer back to something you talked about before
When the topic you’re talking about dries up, feel free to go back to any topic you talked about before.
Let’s say that someone mentions that they are in the import business, and then the conversation moves on. A few minutes later, when it fizzles out, you can go back to asking something about the import business. For example, you could say, “You mentioned that you’re doing imports. What do you import more specifically?”
Conversations don’t have to be a straight line. When a topic dies out, feel free to move to a new one or a previous one.
Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions give the other person a chance to think about their answer and say something more detailed than yes or no.
For example:
Rather than asking “Was the vacation good?” (Close-ended), you can ask, “How was your vacation?” (Open-ended)
Rather than asking “Did your team win last night’s game?” (Close-ended), you can ask, “How was last night’s game?” (Open-ended)
Rather than asking, “Did you enjoy the party?” (Close-ended) you can ask, “Who was at the party?” or “What kind of party was it?” (Open-ended)
Asking questions like these often gives more elaborate answers, and because of that, you’ll get to know each other faster and on a deeper level.
Embrace Silence and Allow Natural Pauses:
It's important to recognise that silence and natural pauses are inherent parts of conversations. Instead of feeling pressured to fill every moment with speech, embrace moments of silence and allow space for reflection and processing. Silence can be an opportunity for the other person to contribute or for new topics to emerge organically.
Mastering the art of conversation is a valuable skill that can enhance your social interactions and enrich your relationships. By cultivating curiosity, staying informed, practicing active listening, sharing personal experiences, and embracing silence, you can ensure that you never run out of things to say. Remember, meaningful conversations are not about the quantity of words spoken but the quality of connections made.
Join us at Social Skills Australia Community as we continue to explore strategies for effective communication and social growth. Let's embark on this journey together!