How to Really Put Yourself Out There

For many people, especially those in the neurodiverse community, the idea of “putting yourself out there” can feel overwhelming. Social interactions can be tricky, and stepping out of your comfort zone may seem like a big challenge. But building connections and creating opportunities for growth is possible—and it starts with small, manageable steps.

Here’s a guide to help you put yourself out there while honouring your unique needs and strengths.


1. Start with Self-Acceptance

Before reaching out to others, take time to understand and accept yourself. Recognise your strengths, interests, and values. When you feel comfortable with who you are, it’s easier to connect with others authentically.

Tip: Make a list of things you enjoy or are good at. This can help you identify shared interests to connect with others.


2. Set Small, Achievable Goals

You don’t have to dive into large social events right away. Start small. For example, you could:

  • Say hello to someone new at school or work.

  • Join an online group or forum related to your hobbies.

  • Attend a local workshop or community event.

Each small step builds confidence and makes the next step feel more manageable.


3. Find Your Tribe

Look for people who share your interests and values. Joining groups, clubs, or activities that align with your passions can help you meet like-minded individuals. Whether it’s a book club, gaming group, or art class, shared interests make starting conversations easier.

💡Tip: Check out local libraries, community centres, or online platforms to find groups near you.


4. Practice Social Skills

If social interactions feel daunting, practice can help. Start with simple things like:

  • Making eye contact (if comfortable).

  • Asking open-ended questions (e.g., “What do you like about this hobby?”).

  • Practicing active listening—show interest in what others are saying.

Programs like PEERS® can also provide structured support for developing social skills in a safe and supportive environment.


5. Embrace Rejection as Part of the Process

Not every interaction will lead to a friendship or connection, and that’s okay. Rejection is a natural part of putting yourself out there. Instead of taking it personally, view it as a learning experience.

 Remember: Every “no” brings you closer to a “yes.”


6. Celebrate Your Progress

Every small step you take is a win. Whether it’s attending a group event, starting a conversation, or simply showing up, celebrate your efforts. Progress might feel slow, but each step builds confidence and resilience.


7. Be Kind to Yourself

Putting yourself out there can be tiring. Give yourself permission to take breaks when needed. Socialising is a skill, and like any skill, it takes time to develop.




Putting yourself out there doesn’t mean changing who you are. It’s about finding ways to connect with others while staying true to yourself. By taking small steps, practicing patience, and focusing on your unique strengths, you can build meaningful relationships and create a supportive community.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Support is always available, and there are people who value and appreciate you for who you are. Keep going—you’ve got this! 


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As an Autistic Person, My Social Motivations Are Different—That Doesn’t Make Me Rude