Starting a Conversation: The First Step to Making Friends

For many young people, one of the hardest parts of making friends is knowing how to start. It’s not always about being outgoing or funny — sometimes, it’s simply knowing what to say, when to say it, or how to join in.

You might see your teen or young adult hang around the edges of a group, clearly wanting to be part of it, but unsure how to get involved. They might smile, look over, or even walk past a few times — hoping someone will notice. But without the right tools or confidence, starting that conversation can feel impossible.

The truth is, friendships often begin with a simple moment. A quick comment about a shared interest. A question. A smile. But getting to that point takes skills that can be taught and practised.

In the PEERS® Social Skills Program, we break it all down into small, practical steps — things like how to casually show interest, how to use a shared interest to start a chat, and how to read social cues to know if someone is open to talking. We also explore how to join group conversations respectfully, without interrupting or taking over.

It’s not about saying something clever or perfect. It’s about being present, and noticing what's going on. These aren’t just random tips — they’re research-backed strategies that help young people feel more confident and prepared in social settings.

When they know what to do and what to look for, that awkward moment of "should I say something?" becomes much less scary. Instead, they have a plan — and a path forward.

And with every small conversation, they take a step toward connection. A shared interest turns into a shared laugh. A quick comment becomes the start of a real friendship.

Friendships don’t just happen by chance — they grow from these little moments. And we love watching our participants grow in confidence as they learn how to make those moments happen.

It’s not magic. It’s not luck. It’s a skill — and it can be learned.

If your teen or young adult struggles to make friends, know this: learning how to start and join conversations is a powerful place to begin. With support, encouragement, and practice, they can take that first step — and it could change everything.