Understanding Autistic Adolescent Friendship

Autistic adolescents possess exceptional qualities that make them excellent friends. Their attributes include loyalty, honesty, dependability, compassion, integrity, social justice, open-mindedness, and a great sense of humor. However, the challenge lies in understanding the friendship expectations of their non-autistic peers.

Friendship Defined

Autistic adolescents often have more straightforward definitions of friendship, placing less emphasis on self-disclosure, empathic understanding, and affection. For them, a friend is someone who shares similar interests and talks about the same things. While their peers may have moved on from childhood interests, autistic adolescents may still cherish hobbies like Lego, Thomas the Tank Engine, or My Little Ponies. The key is finding someone who shares those interests and forming a genuine connection.

The Camouflage Dilemma

Autistic teenagers may struggle with approaching peers, often due to past social experiences that have left them wary of trust. They may experience an internal conflict, torn between fitting in and staying true to themselves. Even when they are included in social activities, they may still feel like outsiders. The fear of not being liked or feeling like a nuisance can lead to anxiety and a desire to conform.

Loneliness and Connection

Loneliness is a recurring theme among autistic adolescents, and they often feel more alone in social groups where they may feel they need to mask their true selves. Many yearn for connection but find themselves feeling more isolated when surrounded by peers.

Unconventional Friendships

In some cases, autistic adolescents find acceptance and connection within marginalised teenage groups involved in activities that may concern parents. These friendships offer a sense of belonging and engagement, even if the activities themselves are unconventional.

Coping with Group Dynamics

Socialising, especially in groups, can be exhausting for autistic adolescents. They may struggle with managing multiple opinions, resolving conflicts, and interpreting the intentions of others, which can lead to increased isolation.

Motivation, Perception, and Maintenance

While many autistic adolescents have the motivation to make friends, they may struggle with social success. Their difficulties with understanding social cues and intentions can make social situations challenging. This, in turn, can lead to performance anxiety, social phobia, and social withdrawal.

Friendships can be challenging to maintain due to difficulties with unspoken social rules. Autistic adolescents may grapple with how often to make contact via social media, appropriate topics for conversation, empathic responses, and tolerance for disagreements. Their black-and-white view of friendship can sometimes lead to abrupt endings when expectations are not met.

The Next Step?
Discover the secrets to forging lasting bonds in our upcoming masterclass on November 8, 2023, from 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm AEDT via Zoom. 

Learn how your adolescent can strike up engaging conversations, build trust, navigate social situations with confidence, create an inclusive circle of friends, and transform acquaintances into lifelong buddies. 

This masterclass is for you if you're concerned about your adolescent's friendships, their social interactions, or if they're experiencing challenges like anxiety or bullying at school. 

At the end of the session, we'll introduce you to the PEERS® for Adolescents and PEERS® for Young Adults programs, designed for a 16-week journey to social confidence. 

Register for the masterclass here.